How do you apply for the Wall Street Welfare plan?

Things are getting a bit tight here on main street so I am looking for a little help. I understand that there is a new Wall Street Welfare plan that is supported on the tax payers dime. It also comes with 6 figure bonuses for abysmal performance. Does anyone know how to apply for this welfare program? I am just as good as those Wall Street investments good old boy bankers, so I want part of their tax payer financed pie. I've earned a couple of degrees and don't think the average AFDC welfare is the right fit for me. I want the Wall street plan.